tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post2178993288500291515..comments2013-03-21T11:58:35.193-05:00Comments on Team Griffis Page: Tues, Dec 22Team Griffishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12307866017252101288noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-86838104414861751692009-12-23T21:02:48.078-06:002009-12-23T21:02:48.078-06:00Saundra,
I came to your site from Kristie's si...Saundra,<br />I came to your site from Kristie's site the day your beloved husband passed away. I have not commented, yet I have read every post. My heart is heavy today for your family, especially Matthew. I pray for healing for you and all of your children. As much as we, as mother's, would like to take the hurt and pain away from our babies, we can't. We have to let them find their healing in their own time and their own way. I pray that someone will come into Matthews life that can help him walk down this road he is on. A country song came to mind as I was reading your post tonight "Jesus take the wheel, I can't do this on my own". I repeat those words when I feel I can't do on my own! <br />God Bless your family.<br />~Debbie S.~ <br />Hoover, ALAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-65137938148083030082009-12-23T20:43:15.881-06:002009-12-23T20:43:15.881-06:00Saundra,
There was a time when my 15 year old was ...Saundra,<br />There was a time when my 15 year old was very angry. Pastor dad was busy with everyone else's life except his family (1 boy, 3 girls). Never came to watch him play basketball or have a decent conversation about how he was doing. Thank God for some awesome men at the church that took the time every week to have a pickup basketball game. They pretty much made him go and played him to his limit. Pushed him harder any most moms would like to see, but it gave him a physical outlet for his pain and pent-up frustration. Men and boys are meant to be physical and do something. Does Matthew have an outlet where he can become totally physically spent and exhausted. To use every ounce of his energy on something. It is just a suggestion, but it would ease the mind to be more physical. I can't know your pain, but I do understand seeing all the couples and feeling that emptiness and longing. God longs for that relationship with you. May you feel God's embrace closer than anything you have felt before!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-38452346288868610032009-12-23T16:31:53.960-06:002009-12-23T16:31:53.960-06:00Saundra, again I feel the need to preface this wit...Saundra, again I feel the need to preface this with "I don't pretend to understand what you are going through, or if my words will even help ...." but maybe, just maybe, its not so important if the family doesn't heal "together". Of course its important that everyone heal, but specifically I mean attend family therapy. I think, if you and any of the children feel you will gain something by seeing a therapist, you should. Definitely. Like someone else mentioned, I don't think you can force the others without causing resentment. But you know how when you are getting ready to take a flight, and the stewardess is giving the safety lecture about putting the air mask on yourself BEFORE helping anyone around you? Maybe this is a similar situation. Maybe you need to concentrate on helping yourself, through journaling or counseling or whatever helps, so that you are best capable of helping your children as they decide how, and when, they are ready. <br /><br />Ultimately, I assume they are looking to you to see how to grieve. Maybe not ... maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about. But maybe the best example you can make for them is getting the help you need. If therapy helps you, I say continue it. Even if its just you. Or just you and Rachel. I can only imagine the anger all the kids are dealing with ... its one of the normal stages of grief, right? And if Matthew more than others, well, we'll all pray for him that he finds some way to break through it. But I really believe you're doing the right thing by at least trying, even if they're not all on board right now. In time, I think they will be.Kristiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18325715096763265816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-17877405179668540652009-12-23T14:59:52.591-06:002009-12-23T14:59:52.591-06:00Saundra:
During the last few years of my husband&...Saundra:<br /><br />During the last few years of my husband's cancer battle, I had a lady say she was called to pray specifically for my daughter who is now 17 years old. She seemed the most angry at God and I was so worried about her. Many tough days I know were handled because people were praying. I have chosen to concentrate on praying for Matthew. When you write about him, I can picture another face - my daughter's. God has been faithful and we continue to plug through this journey. I will pray the same for you. Only you and God know your son. I will pray God gives you wisdom as you love and parent him.<br /><br />BeckyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-38076015480939115852009-12-23T13:40:14.161-06:002009-12-23T13:40:14.161-06:00I do not know you nor do I know the pain of what y...I do not know you nor do I know the pain of what you are dealing with. But, as far as Matthew is concerned, maybe you need to let him have his space. That seems to be what he needs. He WILL figure this all out. He just needs time to do this. I think as a mother, you are trying to force his healing. This is not what he needs. He is old enough to decide WHAT he needs. Let him do as he pleases. He will come around. <br /><br />AmyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-45500795251351862182009-12-23T10:05:58.685-06:002009-12-23T10:05:58.685-06:00Saundra, there's so much I want to say but in ...Saundra, there's so much I want to say but in some ways there just are no words to say it. I guess the best thing to say is that I continue to pray for you all the time. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that Matthew will be able to include you in his grieving process soon. Just as the therapist told you though - you don't need to be embarrassed or feel the need to apologize. His attitude and behavior may seem harsh or mean but he is just grieving - trying to deal with the loss of his daddy as best he can - and people understand that. I'm sure that's not easy to watch but just keep trusting that God can work it out in him. Lay him at Jesus' feet just as the others said. I'm praying for you and all of your kids as well as for your family's travels.<br /><br />I love you!<br />DonettaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-35955132161908196732009-12-23T09:44:18.383-06:002009-12-23T09:44:18.383-06:00Saundra, I forgot to tell you I posted the Ray Bol...Saundra, I forgot to tell you I posted the Ray Boltz song you requested on my blog today. Just click on my name to go to: <br />angelsofgrace123.blogspot.com<br /><br />I also wanted to ask your permission to show your blog on my list.Grace Smithhttp://angelsofgrace123.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-17101579995744706252009-12-23T09:35:07.976-06:002009-12-23T09:35:07.976-06:00Saundra, Today I am praying specifically for Matth...Saundra, Today I am praying specifically for Matthew. I know words may not help right now, but maybe they will later. Jim was a little younger than Matthew when Dad was diagnosed with leukemia. <br /><br />We went through shock, anger and despair. Then Jim retreated into the dorms and rarely came around.<br /><br />Dad was in the hospital very close to death, but we couldn't find Jim. Someone called Chaplain Martin (Rick's Dad) and he tracked him down. Jim connected with his emotions. <br /><br />The comparison is similar, yet so different since Dad lived longer and we had time to cope with the idea of his imminent death. <br /><br />Here's an excerpt from a grief website that sounds similar to what Matthew may be going through now:<br /><br />3. "EMOTIONAL DESPAIR, SADNESS & WITHDRAWAL-<br />The storm of intense emotions of the second stage gives way to a period of heavy sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends."<br /><br />http://www.recover-from-grief.com/index.html<br /><br />I am in no way trying to say "we know how you feel", everyone's situation is unique and everyone grieves differently. I'm glad you are going to counseling and I pray Matthew will come around soon.<br /><br />Still praying for all of your family.Grace Smithhttp://angelsofgrace123.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-13276320682006274562009-12-23T09:28:16.015-06:002009-12-23T09:28:16.015-06:00Hi Saundra,
Very touched reading your post today....Hi Saundra,<br /><br />Very touched reading your post today. My heart goes out to you trying to keep it all together.<br /><br />I dont know if yuo know Dan Palmer but he is a licensed counselor. Maybe Matthew would do better talking to him since he is a guy. Just a thought.<br /><br />Also, I wondered if maybe you could go ahead and put John's stocking up and have everybody write a letter to him or something and put them in there. I dont know if it would be a good idea or not. Just another thought. Maybe a bad one. I dont know.<br /><br />We are still praying for you.<br /><br />dmdavid b mclaughlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06283484533908383151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-82442160754110756072009-12-23T09:19:59.958-06:002009-12-23T09:19:59.958-06:00i love Jadean's comment. All of us - palms up ...i love Jadean's comment. All of us - palms up as we put Matthew in God's able hands. I believe he is a wonderful young man, and the waters he is navigating are colder than any of us could ever imagine. <br />mercy and understanding and miracles for matthew, john's firstborn, today. we love you, all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-13907000872524238832009-12-23T08:55:24.719-06:002009-12-23T08:55:24.719-06:00Saundra, I posted the entire song yesterday aftern...Saundra, I posted the entire song yesterday afternoon, but here is the part that came to my mind after reading your post this am.<br /><br />WOULD YOU HOLD ME WHILE I CRY<br /><br />"Lord, when you could have passed me by.<br />I'm asking' for your strength today. Lift my spirit, Lord, I pray.<br />Will you just hold me while I cry<br />You've always kept me safe from harm<br />Like a child in your arms<br />You've cradled me through hardships faced in life<br />It's just one of those days<br />I've been fought in every way<br />Would you hold me while I cry"<br /><br />Fall into the arms of Jesus and, if only a moment, "Let Him hold you when you cry".<br /><br />I agree with Marilyn...lay Matthew at Jesus feet. You can't help him grieve, but our Lord God Almighty can do miracles...it's hard for us to take our hands off and let go and let Jesus. <br /><br />I've been through tragedies, but NOTHING nothing like you're experiencing. However, during one of my hardest, I finally let it go... it wasn't easy, but when I turned my palms upward and told the Lord, "I can't do this alone anymore, here it is", the burden lifted. But I had to leave it with him and not pick it up again. I believe that's what God would like to do with Matthew.<br /><br />Your family is in my prayers as they begin their travel to Bethany. I pray God will be with them in their cars and prepare them to be with you and the kids.<br /><br />Please know, again, you are loved, Saundra.<br /><br />Jadean MurrayAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12283096237489805169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082725097254166808.post-88819129568175549502009-12-23T08:07:39.705-06:002009-12-23T08:07:39.705-06:00Saundra, I haven't commented yet but I have re...Saundra, I haven't commented yet but I have read all of your posts and most of the comments by other people. I think it is AWESOME that you and John were still so crazy in love after 21 years together. His passing seems unbearable for your family, but I am praying God can bring something good out of your pain. He is your strength and fortress - lean on Him. I love you! Denise SacketAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com