Thursday, December 2, 2010

December 2, 2010 Thursday

The tree is up..still no decorations....nothing.....

Pray for hannah, her 2nd counseling appt is tonight.

I keep a mask on all the time now....i don't think anyone knows the the smile is only a turning up of my lips...nothing deeper

how i hold the tears in so know one really knows....not even the kids...not even those who think they know me

appointments, doctors, counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, ballgames, work, prescriptions, finances, friends, kids, housework, laundry, they all call for me...and i can no longer do it....

I feel myself crumbling,,,,,and i don't think anyone knows how bad.....only the responsiblitlity to my kids keep me alive



Anonymous said...

Yes you do have a reason to keep on going, your children, as they are suffering now they would have twice the sorrw if you were not here for them. They may not show you now that they depend on you for your strength but they do. Remember how you were at their age and how your mother was so important to you even if you didn't ask for anything, just knowing she was there for you, you are important to them.

If you can't pray and I understand that right now, God knows what you need, he is with you always, keep saying Jesus, one day you will wake and will see the fog is lifting. Love you and your family. PM

Anonymous said...

I wish there was something I could do or say to make things better. I will keep praying though!! I'm here if you need me!


Jenna said...

still praying. love you.