Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Tues Dec 21

Well Christmas bears down on us.

We are doing okay. Told my mom the other day I think we are "let's just get it over with mode". Kind of numb now.

We are all doing okay. I finally went out yesterday and shopped a little. I was at the mall and kind of had to giggle to myself...I thought,"Saundra, you have no idea what you have bought." It is true. I don't know what I have for whom. I just try to get something for everyone. I thought how things have so changed....i used to enjoy shopping at christmas.

I loved Pastors message Sunday morning. How I could relate to being in exile, and in the wilderness. Never looked at it like he pointed out. But the message really spoke to me.

I really appreciate the suppose I have recieved from my readers. I have really been hurt recently by comments on here and out and about that i need to move on. My favorite is that I choose to be this way. Wow. You know I have really progressed when you look at where I have come. The fact that I have a bad day,week, or month does not mean I am choosing to not go on...does not mean I am wallowing....it means I am having a bad day, week or month. Just like everyone else. BUT, the difference is that I am grieving...and it is harder to come back. And in fact, my doctor told me that it is harder and takes longer for loved ones who have lost someone to an accident, to get through the grieving process. Not to mention that everyone moves at their own speed.

Anyway..when I read the positive comments it really encouraged me. Thank you for reading, commenting and above all else..for praying...it is working....we, I am doing better.

Saundra

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praying as always. It does take each person their own time to grieve and no one should ever say to you to move on, get over it. Someone told my son that 11 years ago, a couple of weeks after his dad died and he still to this day will say it still hurts to think about the one he thought was his best friend telling him this.
I am so glad to see you are trying to have a Christmas for your children, They will remember always what you are doing, and as they grow older appreciate it more and more, that you loved them so much. God be with you during the next several days, may he uphold you and give you strength. Love Pat Mc.

Anonymous said...

Saundra,
I also thought about you and your children during the Pastor's message on Sunday and realized that's how you felt - exiled. Well, you're in so many people's prayers and thoughts, so perhaps that will help soften the blow a tiny bit. You all are so loved and I love the growth I've seen in you. May God continue to uphold you in the years to come. Love, drmad

Anonymous said...

Saundra,
This site should be a safe-place for you, and I'm sorry that some people don't realize that. You are a strong woman, and you can do this. I believe in you. Remember that God will lift you up on the wings of eagles.
Love and Prayers.

Anonymous said...

I have looked everyday hoping, anticipating for a blog from you. It helps me know how to pray for you and the kids, as you are in my journal as one of my daily dozen. I miss (and worry) when I don't see a new blog.

Don't let Satan use other people. He will, you know.

Me and the kids love you and your family so much. We are praying for you and hope we can always be your strength when needed.

Love and MANY PRAYERS!
Phylis

Anonymous said...

That-a-girl, Saundra! Kickin' butt and takin' names. Diplomacy isn't always the best policy. Love ya girl!!!!!!! Janet :)

Anonymous said...

Still praying!! I'm glad you took a little time to write and share with us! I miss it when you don't.

Love you!
Donetta

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family! I'm so sorry that some people feel it is their place to tell you how you should feel and where you should be at by now. Just know that so many are praying for you all....

Anonymous said...

I have not ever posted but after reading the negatives from several days ago...... Shame on them!!!! Who are we as humans to judge how someone else grieves? I lost my father when I was 8 and my sister was 3 months old and my Mother grieved for years, did she stop living? NO but she grieved what she lost and what she would never have. When you love that strong, how can a month, or 6 months or a year be enough? I have seen you at school with a smile on your face and you are living life and grieving at the same time and that is ok. Honestly I would be more concerned for you and your kids if you weren't still in the grieving process and moving on. God Bless you and your journey and keep your head held high!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Saundra,
Keep up the good work. I have always marveled that people say grieving is a personal process but in the next breath tell you where you should be and when. God is able and He will carry you and let you walk and carry you again as He has so faithfully done for me and my girls over the last 9 years. Just a heads up - my girls found the "second holidays" without their dad to be harder than the first. During the first I think we were numb and couldn't feel but the second we could feel. Praying. Ann from NY

Anonymous said...

Praying for you now and always but especially on Christmas. May Jesus' love, strength, and courage fill the voids and provide some joy!
JJ

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family. Glad you are doing better and taking things one day at a time.

missd said...

Merry Christmas to you and to your kids:)