Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wed Dec 8, 2010

Thank you to each of you that has commented. I am glad that you could work thru your grief so well. But each has to wear their own shoes....each experiences differently and each grieves differently.....

The kids had their group grief counseling last night. I didn't go as that was what we had discussed as a family...and I had talked to the counselor and she felt the same way. Matthew is being so strong, such a man.....I talked with him before hand and told him that he would probably have to do a lot of talking to get the other kids talking...he said he had already thought of that. When he got there he text me and said, "Don't worry mama, I will take care of the kids....you have fun." I was at the staff christmas party. I felt guilt and was so proud at the same time. It was his birthday and there he was taking his bro and sisters to a grief counseling appt. It just didn't seem fair to me.

When they got home I asked him how it went...he said fine. I asked if the kids talked and he said they had. I didn't want to push. I think he wants this to be just for them. I have to accept it and step back. As hard as it is because you all know how I am a hands on mom.

We are all doing better. It is hard...but we have been spending more time together.

We did get our tree decorated. That was a comedy of errors. But after a week it is up...hannah posted a pic on her facebook. It made me glad to see that she did that...she was the one that told me she didn't want to get one...."don't waste the money" were her words.

Pray for the counselor to have wisdom....and the kids to be open. Pray for us to be happy and have a peace around us this month.
Saundra

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Saun (sb)

Praying for you and your family!

.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family!

Anonymous said...

Saundra,
Thank you for letting us look in on your family and their progress. I think that sometimes people mean well, wanting to say something-anything and we end up saying the wrong things inflicting more pain in the already open wound. Many times we are quick with clich├ęs and Scripture believing that those alone will help ease the pain.

There is no fast and easy way to process grief. There are several stages that one must navigate through which happens on an individual basis. There will be better days ahead but those of us on the outside looking in cannot determine when those days will come for you and yours.

Please know that you are loved, whether it looks like you've got it all together or whether you are raw with emotion and pain. How proud you must be of your kids. :) Praying for you and yours.
JoRea

Chris said...

I just finished reading Elizabeth's blog, and you both really have alot in common. Grief comes in so many shapes. Your grief took shape last November, she is grieving over what she will miss in her children's lives and her husbands when her time comes.

I know you had read her blog before and then lost touch, but perhaps it is time for you to read it again, maybe with your kids. That there is so many different kinds of grief and that, as scripture says, you can use this to help others in like circumstances. She has some very insightful posts, and some very raw emotional sharing as well.

Her blog is www.deadmanskipping.blogspot.com

I know she would love to hear from you. She is having some discouraging days as well.

Angela Taylor said...

Saundra,

I wholeheartedly agree with JoRea. I read your blog so that I can know how to pray for you and your family. Unless I have or will someday walk in your shoes, I'll never know how I would handle your circumstances. That you can even get yourself out of bed in the morning is a miracle in my eyes. I know things will somehow get better for you because you have God, and our God promises never to leave or forsake us, but I would never presume to rush you through your grief or advise you on how you should grieve.

Don't let the comments of others keep you from feeling free to vent your feelings. I know that's all this blog is, and you are hurting no one by venting. I'm especially praying for you guys through this holiday season. I pray that your family can begin to establish some new special traditions, and that some happy memories of seasons past might comfort your heart right now.

Angela