Friday, November 27, 2009

Friday, November 28

Well, some of the hard stuff is done. Thankfully Dawn and my sister in law Shelly were there to help. We have put have everything in boxes. The kids did take a few of the the things that they cherished. I would have to say that Isaac had the hardest time. He just kept hugging and crying....and is now just very quiet.

I had a hard time holding it together. John was a letter writer. He wrote them often to poem form. I found several of them. I found books that we read together when our marriage wasn't where we knew God wanted it to be. I saved those back. I don't know why. I just did. I just feel numb now.

Now, I am not sure I'm ready to get right back in the house....but I fell like I've made a major step. I know God has given me strength this far...and he won't let me go in the middle of it all. He has been so faithful to us.

I stand in awe at the people who know little of John, me or the kids...yet step in to help in any way that they can. I stand amazed at the people who want to just do ANYTHING to help. You are angels send by God. I have no doubt in my mind. I am surouned by his TEAM. I feel priviledged.

I am scared...yes. But, as He has brought us this far....he can take us further.

My mind wonders a lot. I have been trying to keep it centered on God. The scripture that comes to my mind is this (my paraphrase) Saundra, think on those things that are good, pure, true and worthy of HIS PRAISE.....and when you think on these things His Peace will be with you. It is my promise from God to help settle my worries.

I love and thank you all...

My specific prayer requests would be for peace, contentement, peace for my children, and that this will only increase their faith in Christ.



phylis said...

Iam glad you all were able to do a few things. There is a small sense of relief in your words. I know you were dreading that. The paraphrased verse is beautiful and no doubt true! Continue to be in his presence. You can count on his faithfulness! Love always, phylis

Tim said...

I am also glad that you were able to make some steps forward. I have never been where you are... so the best I can do, is just tell you that prayer is what me and my family continue to do. John was a good person to me and I know his Legacy will live on. You can always know this.... "Where God guides, He provides." He will never leave you nor forsake you. As I say to many of my family, friends and students... Hang in there..

Tim Campbell

Anonymous said...

One step forward is just what is needed. We are praying for you all.

I know how hard it is to lose someone. I don't know about a spouse but I do know about losing a child. I took it one day at a time and with God at my side we made it though.

Also, I had a bad time in my life when I burned 10% of my body someone told me that "there would be a time in the future that I would look back and not want to change history". It took me almost 10 years to get to that place. When I see all the good that bad time of life has done to help others it was worth it and I don't want to go back now and change it.

Let us know if we can do anything for you.

Cindy said...

Saundra and family, You may not feel it, but today I feel like u showed much courage. You guys r never far from my thoughts. I do know that God will carry you through this hurricane that is ur life right now.

Jim McCollough said...


I know I didn't get to know you as well as I did John, but you have been on my heart and in my prayers. I have no idea how anyone in your family feels, I can only just imagine. One thing I know is that you serve a gracious and loving Father that will hold you up when you need it and shelter you under His wings when you need that. You have a precious family and a great extended family, but also a tremendous circle of friends that will help you through this. Don't hesitate to call on any of them for whatever you need. I know it would be their privilege to help wherever they can.

tammy said...

Saundra you just amaze me... I know that God will bring something good and beautiful out of all of this. You have taught me alot thru the years to keep praying and believing. You never gave up and God will NEVER give up on you. I will keep praying for his strength for you and the kids. I am so thankful that you have such wonderful friends and family in your life to help you. When I read your letter today, I just THanked God. He is helping Saun, you made steps for the future. I could feel his love in your letter. Praise GOd even in the storms. The days you don't feel like it I will Praise God for you. I love you Hun. Let me know if i can do anything... Love tammy Mendez

Anonymous said...

I purposely drive by your house each day and pray for you. I mainly pray for "peace." I know Monday will be here soon and the kids will try to get back into their routines. Isn't it so comforting to know that they will be embraced with open arms by all their friends and teachers. This must come as a comfort to you and to them as well. I will stop by to see you in the next few days.
Love you!
Brenda Gassett

live compassionately said...

I don't know your family but I know of your family through my sister and her family. I have been praying for you all and I know you have a long road ahead of you. There will be difficult days but just know that God is always with you, holding and loving you. I pray that His peace and comfort will be yours, especially on the days that you feel the angriest and hurt the most. God bless you all
Kristin Moyer

Kim said...

I want you to know that John talked about you every softball game and almost raced to his phone with a happy grin when he was getting to come home. He knew how much you loved him and it was the most important thing in his life behind God. I thought of him as the brother I always wanted. I love your family and there will be joy again but it will be different. Tell Rachel to pull up my facebook page or Kaylee's if she is in the mood to see some Team Griffis shots. The girls have given up the team Edward and Team Jacob debate and united as one under Team Griffis. You are an amazing person and much stronger than you think. You have four wonderful images of what good work you and John did with some help from God. Rachels face just makes me smile and she is a strong soul, Isaac is the perfect class clown, (I hear they grow up and make lots of money) Hannah's creative spirit and determination have always inspired me to dig a little deeper and find something I could do to be better. I didn't know Matthew as well because he was quieter, but I know he has John's wit and your tender spirit. I know that you don't always see it when you look at them, but they got the best traits from both of you. Your smile is so warm and genuine it is easy to tell where your traits shine in them. I always felt like John was my little brother (that I wanted instead of my stupid sister jk) but I was shocked to find out he was older than me, but I already knew he was wiser.