Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday, April 13, 2010

Wow! I am loved!!!! Thank you for all the positive, reassuring comments!!! You guys are why I blog. It is the comments that you make, the happiness in your writing, your faithfulness to me and to our Lord that keep me going!!! You guys are great.

Today was a pretty good day. A little struggle here and there. A thought here and there of my loved one. But I would whisper, "Jesus" and a calmness would cover me.

I hate fixing dinner. I tell you, I just dread it every evening...actually before. I started thinking about it this morning!!!!! This morning!!! How I could get out of cooking!!!! Sometimes it is easier than others...sometimes harder. When the harder times hit, I either take them out to eat, or fix and let them to themselves to eat. Tonight was one of those nights. I would like you to pray with me about it. I used to love to cook! I loved it! It just isn't the same. We haven't eaten as a family at the table. I just can't yet. We either eat in the living room together, or they go off to their rooms. I know it isn't right. I know it doesn't help things. But to force myself to fix and eat at the table would....well, it wouldn't be pretty. So pray that I figure it out. I really want to know why I am bothered by it. Or, maybe I am not to understand, just learn from it. And that is fine also. But I need help with it....and my help comes only from my Lord. So please pray with me about it.

Well, I made a decision tonight that I was scared to make. It would have been and John decision. But, Hannah has been wanting to quit working at Panera for a while now. She just hated going in. I didn't know that when she did go to work she would sometimes sit in the car and cry before going in. She said she didn't know why but she just didn't want to work there anymore.

We had went through this discussion about 1 month ago and kind of argued about it. I told her that there was no way she could quit with her senior year coming up, trips, proms, etc...and she loves to go out and do things. I could not pay for that stuff. She would need to stay put. She wasn't happy about it then and was not tonight when we talked about it. In fact, she was in tears.

As I sat and talked with her, my heart began to move in sync with hers. I felt for her. She said that it was hard working someplace that you hated. I told her that that was a fact of life. But then I was checked. It isn't that important that she learn that lesson now. So, I told her that she could give her two weeks notice tonight, but she had to begin looking for a job right away.

She brought up SNU. Wondering if she could work there this summer. I told her I thought that was a good idea. So, I told her to go get a app tomorrow right after school. We would fill it out and take it in. We would wait, and then a week before school let's out if we haven't heard from anyone we would do it again. She thinks it would be a great idea to work on campus. I think it would be great too! Having her this driving...which I am constantly worrying about those late night hours.

I also told her that we were going to take this to the Lord. So, I am asking you to really make this a matter of prayer. I told her that God can do this....and it will be fun watching him work. Just pray that the right person get her app and will be interested enough to giver her a call and a try.

Isaac had a little trouble at school today. He is struggling in Pre-Algebra and Science. So, please pray for him. Pray for wisdom in these areas and ask the Lord to help him retain what is taught. God is faithful.

Hannah has a track meet tomorrow. Pray for continued safety and protection.

Thanks again for your wonderful comments...each and everyone of you. I have not been forgotten. I am loved and prayed for. Thanks for encouraging me and reminding me that you are there. I am not alone.



Anonymous said...

Yes, here praying for you and your beautiful children. Pat Mc

Anonymous said...

Saundra someone sent this to me right after I lost my husband, I have kept it on my refrigerator since. I pray it will bless you as it has blessed me.

Hello God,
I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me,
So I'll never feel alone.
I want to ask you please to keep
My family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they're bound.
Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change in any way.
I thank you God for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.
Your number, God, is the only one
Than answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime.
So thank you, God, for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.

The last line is not there but I like to think it is, Thank you, God, for always answering my call. Praying for you today Wed, April 14. Pat Mc

Todd said...

Well I'm sorry Saundra - I have not meant to be one of the "move on" people you talked about, but I do think I may have been understood to be. I just want you to know I wish you only the best and I pray that you and your wonderful children will continue to live and cope. Your faith is amazing, and I know that will be the rock that gets you all through this time and forward in life.

Anonymous said...

I hope this does not sound odd, but we have been in revival at our church this week. Not your typical evangelistic revival but an inward reviving to develop a greater "upward" heart for GOD in order to develop an "outward" heart for others. One thing I would like to share is that while reading your struggles, and your triumphs I notice that when you struggle with something that John used to do, it seems that it pains you and you find those situations hard. But let me ask this: Do you ever feel guilty for not being prepared, or not being able to handle those situations? If so, the first person you need to forgive is yourself. Once we learn to forgive ourselves for actual or even percieved shortcomings, we can then accept (if needed) God's forgiveness and give and recieve that forgiveness from others. It is very freeing. So I thought maybe this could help in some of those times where you feel ill equipt to face certain issues... because it is not your fault. Call it forgiveness, call it acceptance or call it peace, but the burden need not be born by you for those things. As you well know Gods' yoke is easy and his burden light. That by no means talks of our struggles in this world, it only eludes to what we can expect from him. I pray that God's peace overcome the world's expectations for you, and he give's you the discernment to tell the difference. We also studied scripture where Paul was talking about how our struggles and problems actually strengthen us, I see you getting stronger, I see you trusting him more, keep it up! :O) ....Jeff-Enid