Friends, My faithful friends, thanks for ALL your comments. Whether negative or positive, understood or misunderstood, I thank you for all of them.
Todd, thank you for your comment. You know, I don't know who was positive or who was negative. God helped me move beyond any of those comments anyway. I am just glad that you are reading and praying. After all, that is why I am blogging. For prayer and support. Thank you for being there. BTW...do I know which Todd you are? I know two Todds.
And...please all of you. Never think I would be angry at anything you say on here. We all have our opinions. This blog helps me in so many ways I can't tell you. I could never be angry or upset at something someone says. You are free to your opinions....I encourage them. They make me think about this journey I am on.
Pat, you are so faithful. Thank you for your poem. I did print that and will put it somewhere. It is exactly as I feel each and every night. It's funny how people that have gone through the same thing....know exactly what I am feeling and when. I know God places you here with me.
Jeff......I have nothing to ask forgiveness for....if I read your comment right. I think I have every reason to believe that I can't do all that John did. I have every reason. I do feel inadequate at times. And put in my situation I believe most people would. I guess I didn't understand all that you said, because I don't see you saying what I think you were saying. Or if I did understand it right, I don't agree with you.
But, I do have to say that I agreed with some of what you said. God is strengthening me every day...I am growing.
As most of you know, Pastor David told us to seek God's face....to seek more of Him this week. I had already been doing that. I just feel that there is more to what I have. I have been asking Him to give me more of Him. More of what He wishes for me. And it seems that every morning my devotions help me to move to a higher ground.
My devotion this morning was soooo good in God Calling it said;
Obey My commands. They are steps in the ladder that leads to success. Above all, keep calm, unmoved.
God back into the silence to recover this calm when it is lost even for one minute. You accomplish more by this than by all the activities of a long day. At all cost keep calm, you can help nobody when you are agitated. I, your Lord, see not as man sees.
.....All work here is accomplished by My Spirit, and that can flow through the most humble and lowly. It simply needs an unblocked channel. Rid yourself of self and all is well.
Pray about all, but concentrate on a few things until those are accomplished. I am watching over you. Strength for your daily, hourly task is provided. Yours is the fault, the sin, if is unclaimed, and you fail for lack of it.
Something that I have struggled with is the fact that I couldn't understand how God could take John so soon. I got my answer in yesterdays devotion. And it somehow helped me. It was in the book Jesus Calling:
At the end of your life-path is an entrance to heaven. Only I know when you will reach that destination, but I am preparing you for it each step of the way. The absolute certainty of your heavenly home gives you Peace and Joy, to help you along your journey. You know that you will reach your home in MY PERFECT TIMING: NOT ONE MOMENT TOO SOON OR TOO LATE. Let the hope of heaven encourage you, as you walk along the path of Life with Me.
++++After reading that I just bowed my head an actually thanked the Lord for taking John in His time. Only God knows why. God had prepared him. While I prayed and cried I realized that that was part of my problem. I was disappointed with God for taking him too soon....that he wasn't ready.....I wasn't ready. But, we don't live for ourselves, we live for God. God was ready for John. It was John's time.....God's time. So, I can move on in that area of this journey. I don't have to fight that anymore. Oh, I am sure the enemy will bring it back and try to make me wonder again...but I will try to remember my devotion yesterday and how I was so thankful to my father for showing me this. "Not one moment too soon...."
Praise the Lord with us...Our baby Emma (Jonathon and Jessica's baby) is through with chemo. She is returning to the happy baby we once knew. We thank the Lord for hearing our prayers and touching her sweet tiny body. Thank the Lord with us.
Pray for Hannah and her job situation. I know God has a plan for her. I ask her every day if she is praying and she tells me she is. I am praying that this will be a growing and learning lesson for her that the Lord is faithful to us when we ask him to lead us.
Please continue to pray for Isaac. I know he is struggling with so much. I know he is still missing John so much. I think sometimes I try to fill in for him and I am learning that I can't do that. All I can do is be there for him. Pray for him in school. He is really struggling. He took the occt...something test today and said he did terrible on it. It is supposedly suppose to be like the important CRT test that they will be taking in a few weeks. It will help them to know where they are so they know where to place them next year. I am really worried. If he didn't do well on this first sample like test....then what of the CRT? Pray for him please.
Pray for Rachel. I know recently she has really been missing John. She is taking some pitching lessons and I know she wished John was here to help her and see her as he was the middle school softball coach and she and John had talked often about her playing. Pray for her.
Pray for all of us. I am in the midst of memorizing Psalm 91, and one of the verses says, "He will command his angels charge over me to guard me in all my ways. I will tread upon the lion and the cobra, on the giant lion and cobra I will trample down."
So every morning I have prayed that scripture...that the Lord will command His angels over us....that he would guard us in all of our ways. I pray that the kids will begin to have a growing desire to serve the Lord. To make Him real in their lives. Please pray this with me.
Pray for Matthew to also get a good job. He is working at Lincoln again....last I knew. But it is only part time. So he needs another part time job for the summer. So please pray for him.
Thank you again for listening to me, for praying for us, for loving us.