Tuesday, May 3

I am surprisingly doing pretty well. I have been subbing pretty much all day at school. That keeps my mind very well occupied.

I tried to get out and plant a few flowers in my back flower bed. But there is a few things that need to be done to the flower bed before I can do it. Man power things. That made me miss John. He was always right there to help. Then that made me start to really miss him and go into thinking about Friday. I just had to quote scripture to myself and I was able to work through that moment.

But tonight my heart aches. It aches so much that it physically hurts. I wont' go into great detail. I don't think it is necessary. But, Isaac was being disobedient towards me and very disrespectful. Matthew came out of his room and lost his temper with Isaac. I was afraid he would hurt him. As soon as I could get to them (they were physically fighting) Matthew started towards his room. I told him to come back and explained to him that that is not how we handle things in our home. I asked him if daddy would have handled it that way. He answered no. I asked him if daddy would have approved of that, he said no again. Then he went to his room.

I sat down with Isaac and tried to explain to him why Matthew reacted the way he did. Matthew has really stepped up. He sent me a text the other day that said, "You are doing a good job. I love you." That is all it said. Anyway, Isaac was very hurt, emotionally. Tears streaming he tried to make his wrong, right , with excuses. But, I did apologize for what Matthew did.

Then, I went to Matthew and told him again that that was unacceptable. I also told him that as of late, Isaac has really been looking up to him. He needed to set the example. He needed to control his anger. I also told him to mend it before they went to bed. I have always hated when any of us would go to bed upset...in any way.

It wasn't long until Matthew went to Isaac's room and they talked, then Matthew took Isaac to Sonic and now they are in Matthew's room together.

My heart breaks for Isaac though. For this birthday he got a new bb goal, and only once, with my prodding did Matthew go out and play with him. He is such a lonely little boy. When things like this happen my heart breaks for the loneliness he must feel at that moment. And I am sure he is missing John ever the more.

So, tonight......I have but one prayer request. I want you to urge the Lord to mend their relationship as brothers. Not only mend, but bind it. So the enemy does not try to separate them. Isaac needs Matthew. Pray for a love and bond to grow between them that has never been seen before. I believe God can do it. I believe He can. Please make this an important matter of prayer. I need to see a miracle in this.

Thanks for your prayers,
Saundra