This weekend was a little hard. Not as hard as I expected. That is what they say though; worrying and waiting for 'that' day to come is worse than the 'day' itself. I think the time that was the hardest and saddest to me was when I was sitting at the parade and went back to the last 4th...how we sat next to each other in our chairs and enjoyed the parade together. Then...I really missed him
Then yesterday (Sunday) I was cleaning up the home computer and was going through the pictures we have. I found pictures of John. The memories came flooding back. Then the tears came. I had my little moment of nostalgia and missing him.
Now....I am heading toward something for the first time again. And I am pleading for prayers. We will be heading to Branson this coming Sunday. I am scared. I will be honest. John was such the head of our home that he took care of all the little things that needed to be done...and the big. All I had to do was get packed. I didn't worry about gas, car problems, money, the route, the places we would go...nothing. There was such security in him. I just trusted him.
Now, my trust is in the Lord. But I can't help it, I am scared. I am scared that Matthew won't get the car top carrier on securely enough, I am afraid we may get lost, I am afraid of car troubles.....it goes on and on. I am keeping myself awake at night. I am sick to my stomach. I don't even know where to begin as I plan this trip. I feel lost.
I am trying to put up a brave and excited front for the kids... but it is hard. My mind wonders a lot.....
Please pray for me. Pray for God to give me a peace. The strength I need rests in Him.....I just need help believing it right now. My fear overwhelms my common sense and my heart. Please pray for me.
Pray for our safety, and protection. Pray for a good time. Just pray.
Love,
Saundra
Monday, July 5, 2010
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3 comments:
Saun (sb)
Have a wonderful time! Praying for your safety.
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Saundra, I've only commented once before, but try to keep up with your posts and pray for your family. I imagine (since I've never had a huge loss like that) that over time things will get easier, little by little. When something goes bad, maybe you can think that next time, it will be a little easier. I will pray for God to protect you on your trip, safe travel, and family harmony and fun. Have the kids help with the planning and doing. Have them help map out the route, decide what to do and see. Have a little relaxed downtime worked into your days, too. When we did big vacations, we had to have a rest day in between sight-seeing days, or we all got crabby and stressed. Let the kids know you need help pulling it all together, then it will truly be a family vacation. Have a blast!
Oh wow, there is a lot to worry about, but remember that scripture...about not worrying. And the planning, they have those ticket shops where you can pick a few shows...we loved the acrobats of China, and the Haygoods--a family of kids singing, dancing and playing instruments--I think their mom passed away a few years back and their dad is raising them. They do stomp dancing and oldies, really good show.
We didn't like our first hotel, so the last day we went to the one with the Grand buffet, it has an indoor waterpark and outdoor one and 3 other pools. Don't worry, just make sure the kids have a buddy system and don't go out alone. I always worry since I am the only one watching and kids, they like to take off to the pool or the lobby, etc. But Branson is one of the safest places and really fun. Hope you can enjoy yourself and get some sleep at night.
P.S. Aurora loves pets, and our hotel had the Amazing Pets show in it...pretty neat tricks:) Also, they have an indoor minigolf course, in case it rains like it did last time we were there.
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