Saturday, July 24, 2010

This weekend has brought tears, laughter, happiness, joy, confusion....just an array of feelings.

I had been wanting to see that movie Inception. Matthew had seen it and loved it. But, I didn't want to go by myself so I really didn't think I would go. But while with Dawn one evening this week we talked about the movie and she said that she wanted to go also. As we were parting, I briefly mentioned that if they went Friday night I would like to go along. (They usually would go out as a family on Friday night). Yeah I thought I would probably feel like the third wheel, but I really wanted to go...and not alone. I didn't think they would go, or if they did, I certainly didn't think that they would consider me....they have enough going on also.

But, sure enough, she called and asked! I had talked to Jay and Marilyn in that time and Jay said he had wanted to see it also. I thought it would be Dawns family and Jay and I. As it turned out it was Dawn, Mark, Jay and myself. I had a great time. I don't know if Jay really wanted to see it, or if he knew my thoughts of being a third wheel and helping me not to feel that. But we all had fun...even though the movie was very hard for us to understand.

I know the Lord put it all together. When I came home from our vacation I felt like I had a new breathe...a new lease on life. I am reading a book about being a single mom, and I am finding that just worrying about the kids is helping no one...not even them. I have praying for God to help me with this. I feel like God is moving me into the next step of my grieving process, my growing process in this journey I am on.

Then, something I absolutely loved to do before was work in the yard during the summer. But, we would usually do that together. But, I just hadn't been able to get motivated to go out there. To do it alone. But today, I started out by doing a little thing...just trimming bushes..but by the end of the day I had accomplished so much and had found that I had spent the majority of the day outside....and I absolutely enjoyed it...again! Thank you Jesus for giving me the joy again!!!

I just wanted to share this. It was a good day! Thank you Jesus!!

Saundra