Today I found out more about the recipient of My Sweethearts kidneys. He is 55 year old man, no family.
WHY????? WHY????? God??????
In the letter he talked about the things he was going to get back to doing....avid fisherman. John was an avid golfer...he won't be able to ever get back to that!!!! WHY GOD????????
55 years old??????? No family...no children........why God.
I cry in anguish. I cry in despair. If it weren't for the precious children that John gave me, or the fact that I wouldn't see John again, I would just end this. End the pain. End the questions.
It seems so unfair. Doesn't it seem unfair to you? That God would take a wonderful man with a 4 beautiful children, a sweet spirit.....so much more.....that a 55 year old, single man could live?????
I am so angry right now. I cried out to John to just be here!!! That I will wake up from a horrible, horrible dream...and he will hold me again.
I feel nothing from God right now. I am so confused. Good things are happening yes. But, coincidence? Good people? Just attitudes changes?
Where are you God? Where?