Tues Dec 5

I don't know if you all noticed but most of you mentioned that there will still be days ahead when that "tidal wave" will hit. I think the same thing. I do. I know that my days won't always be as they have been these last few. I know that the enemy will try to tear me up again. But, I have the Lord, and His promise to "sustain me". HE IS GOOD.

I have been reading the scriptures that Dave asked us to read in S.S. this past Sunday. I want that. I want to stand blameless before Him. I want want His word tells us that HE wants to give us. But, I must do my part. And, I am only beginning.

I believe with all my heart that He has a plan for me and my kids. I know it. But, he is "beginning a good work in us" and He is perfecting us....so that He can use us according to His plan.

In every devotion I read there is something that tells me that He has a plan. I want to be made ready for that plan....

I know he has something planned for my kids...I don't have an idea what that could be. But it doesn't matter. They are in His hands.

Yesterday was a good day. I sent out my many Thank yous that I had and then went down to the Bethany Tribune office to pick up some extra papers to send to my family...the one at Christmas time (of the school story) then then one at New Years (our Thank You to all of you).

Last night was good. I miss Matthew so much. Yes, he is here. But he isn't? Do you know what I mean? He shut himself in his room all night again.

Went to dinner at Jay and Marilyn's again...he did go. But that was the last I saw of him. I miss him. In Prov. 5, some scripture I can't remember exactly where, it talks about coming to the end and realizing you have wasted your life. All I could think about was Matthew. Isn't that horrible? But, he has so many talents!!!! So much!!!! If he would just allow God to use him.

Today, I have a little wave of sadness. Like we all knew I would feel again. I'm not sure if it is loneliness for John, sadness for Matthew, or just a combination of that and Hannah's little white truck. It's all so much on my mind right now.

I had to laugh. Last night Isaac and I went to Walmart specifically to get him a binder. We got the groceries we needed and went to the self check out. Unloaded our cart, and then Isaac said, "Mommy! We didn't get my binder!" I couldn't believe it! So we loaded everything back in the cart and went to get his binder.

That is the way my mind is lately. I told Sallye last night. I feel like my mind is slow. I can't make decisions. When I went to get my reading glasses I cried because I couldn't make the decision! The girl did it for me! My mind seems mixed up. And I move slower than I usually do. I just feel like my whole life is in slow motion. It is so weird! So, don't ask me to make a decision...I won't..or I will cry. One or another.

My prayer requests
Of course my sweet Matthew. Pray that God work in his heart, his soul, his mind. Pray that he will want to spend time with us. We aren't that bad.

Pray that each child will begin to have a personal relationship with Christ. That they will begin to long for that relationship.

Pray for Peace amongst us, joy amongst us.

Pray that I will have wisdom in any decision I HAVE to make.

Pray for our truck

Pray for the kids at school.
Pray that Matthew get his work done for OWU.
We need a little more money for him to go to SNU....pray that the people involved will listen to God's voice.

Pray for the Griffis family. We can't do it without you.

Love,
Saundra