Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Jan 13....Wed...2010

I blogged late last night so if you haven't read that yet..you may want to read it first to get caught up on things.

I went to bed with a big tear in my chest....I awoke with a bigger tear in my chest. As I read the Psalm this morning David was crying out to God in anguish....in despair, and yes he even mentioned grief. I could feel, I did feel what David was feeling....crying out, but not being heard. But David, (and I) both know that God was hearing. I just need to see it. I'm not seeing it.

I cry out this morning in anguish, despair and grief. I know He hears. His word says He hears. But I am feeling so alone this morning. I am in deep despair. I can't cry enough.

That is why, even though I said I would only blog in the evening, I am blogging this morning. I need prayer to make it through this day. I am going to try to go to work. It doesn't matter where I am....John is everywhere. I can't get away from his memories...our memories. So it doesn't matter.

Please pray for me.....today....morning, noon, and noon and into the evening. I need Him to Sustain me.

Love,
Saundra

16 comments:

LeisaK said...

Lifting you up in prayer this morning, In the Name of Our Heavenly Father ~ May His Comfort & Grace sustain you.

Anonymous said...

I pray for you each day. I especially will begin to pray for strength to make it through the school day. As I read your blog, I can see how far you have already come. You may not see it, but we readers do. I pray that you will have sweet memories of you and John that will bring you comfort.

Anonymous said...

Will Do, I know you need others right now, I pray that God will put the right person there, with the right words at the right time....You asked that if I use John as am example to be sure to Give God the Glory, that is why I would like to use him. His life, by example, gave God the Glory, so I will be sure THAT is the point that is made. I ( even though I am supposed to be a tough guy) have wept with you through this, and God sees everyone's tears... and each tear, even the ones NOT shed but felt inside tell a story, and he is reading your tears...we don't always know what to ask, or even why we feel what we do, but he knows...David was a wise man, his laments were wide ranging from despair, to forgiveness to greiving to joyous praise and moments where it seems david had a great moment of clarity or an "AHA" moment, cherish those. This blog is a journal of sorts for you, as the Psalms were for David. Each time I see a breakthrough or a turning point in your life I rejoice as do the angels. I pray again for strength, and encouraging words at proper times for you. Jeff

Anonymous said...

Praying hard for you today, all day.

Sarah Hardesty

Anonymous said...

I'm praying that something will happen at school today that will make the day turn out great! Something that will make you feel joy and happiness. I know the sadness will still be there but I will pray for peace and comfort in the midst of the sadness. I love you!

Donetta

Anonymous said...

Pray for you each time you come to mind every day, will especially be praying for you today for comfort and strength. Love you.
Pat

Anonymous said...

Saundra, I'm praying now as I write this. I'm praying you can 'feel' God's loving arms around you, holding, consoling you. I also pray that soon you can go back to work without that tear in your chest.

I haven't been through the lose of a loving spouse, but I do know about 'tidal waves' and I know the emotional and physical drain these have on you. There is nothing you can do after those times, except sleep, if sleep will come. That part I do understand.

I'm 'stormin the heavins' in the name of Saundra Griffis.

May God rest your body, mind, and soul.

Jadean

Anonymous said...

We don't know each other, but I've been reading your blog from the beginning. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you, that you would feel His arms wrapped around you tightly.

~K~

Anonymous said...

Saun (sb)

Hang in there. Brighter days will come.

Anonymous said...

Lord,

My heart hurts today for Saunie. I wish I could change all that has happened. I wish that I could be right there with her today, holding her, speaking words of hope to her. Lord, I need you to be right where Saunie is at this moment - even as she reads this, may she sense your presence. Lord, it is not enough for her to know that you are in control, she needs your tangible, matchless presence to fill her right now. God I call upon your name as a servant who has known heartache, and yet I cannot comprehend Saunie's brokeness. I call upon you as a servant who has asked all the why questions, yet I cannot imagine all the questions that Saunie has cried out. Lord, I know that healing comes from you. I know that you are the answer to all the questions, but today that is not enough. We need you to go to Saunie in your power, in your love - melt into her right now. Lord, I give you Saunie in this day. I lay her in your arms and pray that you would wrap her in all of YOU. Lord, we love you and we love Saunie. Please, dear Father, be with her. Strengthen her. Bring your light to her darkness and show her the way. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Saundra,
I will always pray for you, for your family, for John. I hope you will find solace in God's love for you, for my love for you, for our love for you.
Love and Prayers.

JJ said...

I am so sorry this is a tidal wave for you. If we could, we would all take a portion of you despair an hour or a day at a time so you could truly rest and recover. I'm praying a peaceful evening and restful night to aid you in the pain. May God be your surf board carrying you on this tsunami!
JJ

Marlan said...

Praying harder!!! and more often!!

Anonymous said...

Saundra:
I saw you at the Colonial Fair today, with a sweet student. You were so patient and kind with her. She was looking to you for encouragement, and you were providing that for her. You may not feel like you are able to continue on at school.....but you are a very strong woman with a heart full of love for the students you touch daily.
I am continually praying for your strength!
Christie Sipes

Jennifer said...

I am praying for you today.

Jennifer P.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lord, I come to you tonight in genuine Prayer for Saundra, a woman I have never met, but a woman who has touched my heart through the postings of her grief. Dear Lord please reach down and wrap her in your loving arms, give her peace and comfort when she needs it the most. Let her feel your ever presence, especially at her lowest points. When she feels she can't go on, send a legion of Angels to carry her through the tough times, until she feels she can walk on her on. In your Holy Name, Amen.
~Debbie S.~