Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sun Dec 6

Yesterday was different. There were tears. There were laughs. But God was with us.

We were getting ready to go somewhere and I could tell Isaac was almost in tears. So I called him to me and begged him to share. He finally did. All he could barely get out was, "Daddy and I was having so much fun on the roof when he fell". He was sobbing. As all of us, the kids and I gathered around him I tried to remind him that the enemy was going to try to use those good memories to hurt and haunt us. That we couldn't and wouldn't let him do that.

Then I asked if anyone else had anything to say. Hannah began to cry and said, "If God loves us why did he do this?" I tried to explain to her that God didn't do anything. Nothing bad comes from God. I told her that God does love her. I asked her to look around us and see the ones who have helped us. To look around and see the love that he has sent to us through various ways.

Then we bowed our heads and I prayed that God would heal our minds from the attacks of the enemy. Please pray with me.

I had to shop for Matthew and Hannahs birthday presents yesterday as we are celebrating their birthdays together as a family. I can honestly say there was not a thing I enjoyed about it. I miss John being with me. I hated it.

We had a surprise party for Matthew that Allison and Brock Ring put together last night. I had to cry as I saw all his friends, all his support. There were so many there. I cried as I thought how much he was like his dad...he had so many many that loved him. He even took it as his dad would...quietly and maybe a little embarrassed. But I want to thank each one that was there and for Mr and Mrs Brock who endured all those kids at their house. will be hard. We are going to church today for the first since. We won't sit down front as we usually will. We will with John's family....I need that support now. But one day I want to make it down to "our" place again. But it will be so hard to walk through those doors.

Then the birthday party. While it won't be voiced we all know the big hole that will be there. He made their days so special. Please pray the kids will be able to enjoy their day.

Tomorrow I am going to try and get the kids to school for a longer amount of time. I think I can get Rach and Hannah there...but Isaac is the one I worry for.

Also, Isaac hasn't wanted to play bb. I know it is because his number one fan isn't there. But he has voiced that he will go tomorrow night to Lindsay. He has asked if he could wear number 10 as that was johns number. It has been arranged. But please pray for him.

My prayer requests are:
For each of us, in our own way, to hear something in the service that will help us
That the kids will enjoy their party,,,,their time
That school tomorrow will be easy for EACH of them and I will be able to meet their needs
That Isaac will do better than he ever has before, if he gets to play, and be so proud of himself
That Matthew will begin to share, and want to be with us more.
That our devotion time will be a time to share, to learn, and to gain insight to all God has to offer us.
And I still wake with a sick feeling and a panic every morning.
That I can bring myself to shop....

Which reminds me of what Isaac told me his dad...."Mommy, what do you want for Christmas? I want to use my money to buy you something you really want"? Oh, if he could only give me that. But, I thought how sweet, that like his dad....he didn't want to bother me and use my money...but he was using his.

Pray that Christmas will really be about the Christ for us. That somewhere we can fine the real meaning of Christmas.....and not about the HOLE that is there.

I love each of you. You can't know how you have helped me.



Anonymous said...

Praying for you as always. May you find joy in today. This qoute has meant so much to me at different points in my life and I hope it will for you too. "The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you". Love to you and the kids.

Anonymous said...

Saundra, I pray that as you and the kids go to church, God will give you at least an hour of quiet peace, that you can let your mind rest and take in the message that, I believe, God has especially for you. I also pray that slowing that hour will increase...I'm believing it will.

You and your family are loved
Jadean in Kentucky

Melanie said...

I have been praying these words for you: Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Anonymous said...


You continue to be on my mind and I pray for you and your kids daily. Praying for peace and healing.

I though of you all today as Pastor Busic showed the video of the father coming down from the stands to help his injured son cross the finish line. Through your pain, konw that Your heavenly father is like the father in the video and is at your side and the side of each of your kids to prop you up and walk side by side with you to cross this finish line. When you're weak, lean heavier on Him. When you're stubbling, lean a little more. Use His stregth when you feel you have none. But, together you will make it and will finish this race!

Anonymous said...

Hello friend,

It was so good to see you yesterday. Mason was so excited to get to hang with you all yesterday. He felt it a special time and he took it very seriously.

You are a fantastic mom. You have always had a special gift that way. The kids know how much they can depend on you.

God is being so faithful as he provides you wisdom for your kids questions and fears. Prayers will continue to be raised as you face these challenges every minute of every day.

I know there are so many people that are offering out help. I will say that if you need a friend to go with you to shop I would love to do that...Mason has always been a great little shopper too. It isn't even remotely close, but with James gone again, I find myself shopping alone. Again, I do not mean to make it or sound like the same at all..IT ISN"T...just offering.

I love hearing from you through the blog...I feel connected and it keeps me knowing how to pray for you and the kids. I will be praying tonight and into the morning for you and the kids.

Love, Phylis

Anonymous said...

If it isn't inappropriate....I am being blessed by watching you lean on God and seeing where your faith lies! I know you will make it through this no doubt, for you know where we gather our strength! Thanks for being so transparant, Godbless!! Jeff-Enid

Anonymous said...

Panera Bread @ Brixton Square on the corner of N.W. Expressway and Rockwell is having and Event Night on Thursday December 10th from 5pm to 9pm. 10% of all sales will go to the John Griffis Fund and cash donations will be accepted as well. Please come if you can.

Anonymous said...

Matthew and Hannah's birthdays have both been on my mind lately. Wondering how Hannah made it through hers and how Matthew will make it tomorrow. I pray that God gives you all a special peace for that.

I would also love to go shopping with you. It's been a long time since we've done that together. :) You may need to do it with someone else and I understand that but if you want me to go I sure will. :)

I'm still reading everything you write every day and praying for you always. I love you and miss you!

Your friend,

Delona said...

In Genesis 16:7-16 Hagar gives God the name: El Roi - He is the God who Sees and Cares! He knows your heart and hears your cry from the depths of your soul. He Loves you beyond any human love. May you find peace knowing that El Roi is right beside you and leading you in this journey.

Anonymous said...

Ran a marathon today. Prayed about you guys so many of the miles. "Never Let Go" came on at mile 22. Just prayed for you guys to have peace for a few more minutes each day than the day before.

Anonymous said...

Praying that God will continue to heal your wounds, give you strength to continue taking small steps forward. I too would be happy to shop with you, or go fir you, wrap presents, anything at all. Rememer that God promises to supplly all if your needs according to His riches in glory! Cathy