This morning...in the shower....
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus there's just something about that name,
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Let all Heaven and Earth proclaim,
Kings and Kingdoms will all pass away,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THAT NAME!!!!!
That song kept coming to me. JESUS! JESUS! All I have to do is call JESUS! I call HIM today.
I don't know what today may hold for us, but I want JESUS, I need JESUS to carry me.
Rach made a great breakthrough this weekend. She went to a birthday party...by herself. She didn't want to stay overnight....understood, so she was home by 9. But she talked non stop about her fun time there. Mr. Spindle...you must be something....she talked about as if she was talking about her daddy. How funny you were, the things you said and did. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Spindle for bring joy to Rachel.
Isaac had a little harder time. He is just trying to find someone to fill that hole. Matthew, bless his heart is dealing with his own grief. I can't ask him to fill Isaac's hole. But, Isaac needs someone to stand in the gap. He is so alone, so lonely. I was doing laundry last night, Matthew was in his room and Isaac actually came and asked me who he could play with. Please pray that someone be there for him.
Hannah seems to be doing well. I really think her friends are keeping her head above the water that is raging. I remember one time John and I were talking to her about spending more time with the family because she was spending so much time with her friends. Her comment to us , "But they are so much fun to be with!" I don't know what that says about us....but they make her happy now. Maybe it lessens the pain for now.
Matthew is still angry. I asked him to take Isaac for a haircut yesterday and he just plainly said "NO". I knew not to push. Jason, God bless him, took him for me. Hey, he is one handsome dude! But, it hurt Isaac. He kept asking me why Matthew didn't want to take him. I just told him he was having a bad day. But, pray for Matthew.
Yesterday...afternoon...morning wasn't good, but yesterday afternoon Sallye took me out to buy the Griffis/Williams Christmas gifts. Sallye knew I may not make it....but I knew she would do what ever it took. Well, I made it. It was the best afternoon I have had yet. We laughed till our stomachs hurt. There were times when memories of places or things or things John and I had been, seen, talked about would arise and I would begin to hurt, but then something would take my mind away.
I imagined that that is how it will be one day. I will have good days, then memories will come....and they will go...and I will be able to go on.
Anna, thanks for your comment about John. He had a way with kids. That was his calling. I am so glad that you enjoyed him as a teacher and a friend.
Tara, Thanks for reading. Thanks for being Hannah's friend. I know John used to give you such a hard time. But he would laugh as I would get after him and he would say..."Ah, she can take it". He did love you. As he really did love all of Hannah's friends. He did think of you each of you as an extension of our family. You were all special to him. You are still special to me. My prayer is that you take something that he taught you....something you learned from him...his kindness, his love....and you pass it on to someone else. Pass on his compassion. He had so much.
Again, thank you to all of you for all you have done. I really am trying to get out the thank yous. There will be a message in the Bethany Tribune next week that I want each of you to read. I just can't thank you enough.
My Prayer requests:
That the songs that I listen to will strengthen my faith
That Rach will continue to open up as God would have her to heal
That Isaac will find that person to fill his "John" hole. A buddy, a pal....
That Hannah continue to heal in a healthy way
That God would touch Matthew's heart, mind and soul...that he would find a friend to feel comfortable to pour his soul out to
That Johns life will continue to touch others and change them for the better
My Family comes in Wednesday...pray for their safety
That I will find peace and comfort in the words I read and the music I hear.
That God would send and "ANGEL" to each of my kids. As he did for me with Sallye.
That God would be with Jay and Marilyn, Dawn and the rest of us......they hurt too.
Wisdom in raising, making decisions for my children, for our future.
Church is always hard for us....but I know I need to keep the kids going no matter how I feel. Pray that something will touch each of us today. Pray it will be easier every Sunday.
Thanks for reading...please keep letting me know. Kristie...you amaze me....except for when your computer was down...you comment everyday. I look forward to hearing from you...even if its a sentence. You are always encouraging to me. Thank you.