Friday, January 8, 2010

Jan 8, 2010

I did something this morning that I haven't did since the accident. Slept until 9. I woke at 6 to get the kids going, had my devotions and then that mattress on the floor, w/ Molly soundly asleep, looked too inviting. So I crawled in next to her and fell sound to sleep. My brother called and woke me...or I may have slept way too late. Guess I needed the sleep.

Devotions were very clear to me....from God Calling: "Life with Me is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties. My guidance is often by shut doors. Love bangs as well as opens.

Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of MY WILL, when it seems not joyous.

"our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us exceeding and eternal weight of glory." Expect rebuffs until this is learned--it is the only way.

This is by no means easy....it is very difficult. I love the one part that says LOVE BANGS as well as OPENS. His love is banging now.....but his love will OPEN also. AND it will be good! Or...JOY is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of MY WILL...when it seems no joyous. Like I said, this is not joyous....but I am learning to trust and accept. This is His Will for my life...at this time.

Yesterday was a better day. Got some laundry done. The dust bunnies swept away and that made me feel like I accomplished something!

Many of you have asked about Hannah's dress. No I can't say that she picked one out. She had pictures of some...but I don't know if she and I will be able to agree on something. Grams, Hannah and myself are going out sometime this weekend....along with Matthew!!!!! She said he could go because mommy and grams need to be there to know how we can take it up,in or whatever adjustments can be made. But Matthew has good taste. Well there ya go!!!!!

Again...God showed he is hearing our prayers....I wasn't quite ready to get Isaac for lunch...guess who volunteered to go pic him up!!!! He did! Took him to grams and I met them there. Then he took him back and picked Rach up! It seemed he wanted to! Gramps and I just looked at each other.

Matthew had a physical Therapy appt yesterday so he went to that then we met back home. It was so nice to have him out here in the living room with me. Chatting and talking. He really likes the History channel so we have been watching, talking, and sharing about that. He truly is becoming a different person by Gods Grace and Mercy.

We all (Matthew also) went to Isaacs scrimmage. The thing is I heard him talking to a friend on the phone....and he was telling him his plans for the evening and he told him that he had Isaacs scrimmage and Hannahs game to go to. I was thrilled that he was actually going to put his family before his friends.

We did go to both the kids activities. Matthew and Isaac actually went first then Jay and I later. I couldn't find Matthew when we got there so I text him and asked where he was. He text back that he was sitting with Hannah. SHE WAS ON THE BENCH!!!!! But when I looked..he was sitting behind her...that is what he meant. I thought that was so sweet.

That is one thing he has done since we have gone to the kids games...he wants to make sure he is sitting right behind them. I think that is so sweet.

No homework last night...so it was an easy night to go to sleep. I slept well last night.

No real plans today. Get the kids for lunch. Leslie Wunder has some of Holly's dresses for me to look at in her office. So, I am going up there around lunch to look and maybe bring home some that Hannah would like. Then at 1:00 Hannah has a game.

I don't know what tonight holds. That may be when we go look for dresses if Hannah doesn't feel comfortable with any of Holly's.

Pat, I am glad you mentioned "normal" in your comment. Marilyn and I were just talking yesterday that actually things will never be "normal" as we know it. That has been something I have really been dealing with. Everything has forever changed. Now, we have to find a new "normal" and I am not sure any of us know how to find that. Time, and God will be the only way we will find that again.

Jadean, I did get your message. So, you do have my number. I just was not around as you could see from above to take time to talk. And quite honestly I am no one to talk on the phone. I am afraid people will get me crying....and sometimes....when I am feeling pretty good...it really scares me. But I will try to call you between my plans today.

Sheila, thanks for sharing and commenting though you don't know me. I miss Kristie on here. I hope she gets her computer up and running soon. Thanks for being a part of my life through prayer. It means a lot to me.

Mindi, I will send you an email. We haven't fixed the wipers yet. It is just too cold to get out. But I will call you probably after this.

SB.....I do want to print out my whole blog, with comments. I don't know how. So, if you are computer savvy, or know someone that is....let me know how to do that!!!!

To my prayer warriors...
I have to be making a will out. There are some decisions that I have to make. My prayer, and I wold like you to make it yours is that God give me wisdom in the decisions I have to make. To make it clear to me.

Pray for our little white truck. Still in shop.

Pray for Matthew, Hannah, Isaac, and Rachel to begin to have a longing to know Jesus more. To have a personal relationship with God. Give them that desire.

Ask God to prepare me for starting school on Monday. I am already struggling with it.

Give me wisdom in taking care of the kids, finances, etc.

That I will be able to eat at our table soon. That God will give me the strength to do that.

Energy...I feel so tired all the time.

My relationship with Isaac and studying time. That I will have God's Patience and understanding and things will go smoothly.

Thanks for all you do....all you say...for YOUR faithfulness.

Also, pray for Matthew that he will have the wisdom to finish this one last paper he has to write for OWU. It is a sociology paper, 4 pages and he is really struggling. Pray for it to just come to him so he can be finally finished with all the requirements they have asked for and he can be released.

I love you all.
Saundra

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Saundra- If Matthew would like, I will be in my office all day and would be more than willing to assist in the paper writing/proofing department. Just send him my way. Erin

Anonymous said...

I love that I get to smile a big smile again today while reading!! I'm SOOOOO excited to hear about Matthew! He's been on my heart and it's so great to hear about the changes in him. I pray that they continue and that you all just get closer and closer. :)

Still praying for all of your requests!
Love,
Donetta

Anonymous said...

Saunie -

After what I went through, I, too, struggled with sitting at the table. Finally, one day while I was home alone, I sat there all by myself and I asked God to be at the table with me that evening as Drew, Derek and I sat around it for the first time. I prayed that God would bring laughter and help me not to notice that one who was missing. As I set the table that night, I pointedly removed a chair, so there wouldn't be a empty one and I pointedly placed the food dishes across the entire table. The laughter? Well, that came, too, as I turned around to find Angel (our cat) helping herself to the stick of butter in the center of the table. I am praying for your in this situation. I know you can do it! I know God will give you the strength. I love you! Sis, Debbie

Anonymous said...

Prayers are still going up for you! My comp was not showing your updates so I thought you were done, I am glad I can still read you in your journey! My very FIRST real job at 15 was working for Joe Cunningham as a helper! I am so glad he is painting your house, he is a good man! I am glad to see you progress and leaning on people, remember they are the clouds that comfort and the fire that warms that God has put in your life.....Let us know if you have any luck in the transmission for the truck...Godbless, Jeff Adams

Anonymous said...

Saundra, I'm a little late posting. I had some errands to run...in the snow.

Sounds like you do have a full day. I'm amazed at Matthew's attitude, but then I think,"why?", so many people are praying for him. I thank God He's beginning a very slow restoration in your family.

I'm continuing to pray for you all. My grandsons are both ill, so I've got to cut this short and go check on them.

So glad yesterday was a bit better, but don't forget, when a setback comes, it's okay...as they say, 'roll with it' In your case it should be 'cry with it'. :)

Love and continued prayers.

Jadean Murray

Anonymous said...

Saundra,

Praying for you all today. I replied to your email and gave you my phone #.

Lifting up every member of your family in prayers.

Mindy S.

Brad George said...

I have begun reading your blog almost daily - I feel very drawn to it, and I find an amazing strength in your words - The emotions are all there too - Years ago, we lost a baby very early on, when Megan was only I think about 6 yrs old.... One of our ministers talked me through how to talk w/Megan about that, and she said that whatever she feels at any time is fine....I found comfort in that, and we worked through sad times, anger times, and funny times.... That verse I gave you in Hebrews the other days is something that I use or think about often - It's knowing that you are not alone, knowing that God is still in control, knowing that things will get "easier" to handle, even when it seems like it will never be that way...Your blog, while it is good for you, it's also good for us who read it - Your faith is very inspiring..... Have a blessed day....

Brad

Amanda Barritt said...

I was listening to Air1 on my way home today and heard this song for the first time. You may already know this song, or someone may have already showed it to you, but it helped me as I was thinking about my dad who passed away in Feb. 2009. Its called Smiling Down by Pillar.

You make it so hard on yourself
But theres nobody else
That could ever understand
The feelings that you felt
I could hear you think about
All the time I was around
If you could only see me now
I'm right here looking down

So next time that you feel like crying
Next time you don't feel like trying
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you
In the morning you don't feel like rising
Next time you feel like compromising
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you

I know you won't forget
All the time we got to spend
Just because it's been a while
Doesn't mean that its the end
So right here and now
I'll swear you a vow
That I will always be with you
Whenever you feel down
Nothing ever will come between us
Now I'm holding on to the hand of Jesus

So next time that you feel like crying
Next time you don't feel like trying
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you
In the morning you don't feel like rising
Next time you feel like compromising
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you

I'll be right there looking down
Even when the shine don't shine
I'll be right there looking down
All along the winter night
I'll be right there looking down
With a smile on me face
I'll be right there with my arms open wide
Right here on Jesus' side

So next time that you feel like crying
Next time you don't feel like trying
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you
In the morning you don't feel like rising
Next time you feel like compromising
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you

So next time that you feel like crying
Next time you don't feel like trying
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you
In the morning you don't feel like rising
Next time you feel like compromising
Just remember I'll be right there
Smiling down on you

I just felt a power in these lyrics and I thought they might help you. Even though you probably don't know me, I had Mr. Griffis as a teacher and a coach and I am now a Sophomore at BHS. I'm continually praying you and and your family. You are a strong woman, and even thought it is unbelievably hard, it is AMAZING that you are there so much for your family.

Anonymous said...

Saun (sb)

Hope you are doing okay today. About printing the blog w/comments. I can help you do it if you just want a PDF file containing your blog w/comments. That way you can have an electronic file (PDF) for archives. And you can print them out any time you please.